You cannot select more than 25 topics
Topics must start with a letter or number, can include dashes ('-') and can be up to 35 characters long.
1 line
74 KiB
HTML
1 line
74 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html><html class="no-js fallback-fonts" lang="en-US"><head><meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" value="IE=11; IE=10; IE=9; IE=8; IE=EDGE"><meta charset="utf-8"> <link rel="preload" href="http://x.kinja-static.com/assets/stylesheets/blog-507d7b5e07ab6b1b1bacf41cbfc94a8d.css" as="style" onload="this.rel='stylesheet'"><link rel="preload" href="http://x.kinja-static.com/assets/stylesheets/insets-841c677364db2c8ea2c3da14b3defd31.css" as="style" onload="this.rel='stylesheet'"><meta name="dynamic-stylesheet" id="editor-css-url" value="//x.kinja-static.com/assets/stylesheets/editor-14ed9bc4662744f33e91f22f7c15f838.css"><meta name="google-site-verification" value="TWYsD8bLouBzXp8wXfSDn8FHrTde4vatYMXbatjmuUM"><meta name="viewport" value="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, minimum-scale=1.0,maximum-scale=10.0"><meta name="ROBOTS" value="INDEX, FOLLOW"><title>The Nationals Are Stuck With Danny Espinosa Tonight, Unless They Opt For The Only Thing Worse</title><link rel="shortcut icon" href="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--hYvXo8Vk--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,q_80,w_80/rnxqtvv6advgidzfs6am.png"><link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--iIvh_25i--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/rnxqtvv6advgidzfs6am.png"><meta name="msapplication-square70x70logo" value="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--hYvXo8Vk--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,q_80,w_80/rnxqtvv6advgidzfs6am.png"><meta name="msapplication-square150x150logo" value="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--iIvh_25i--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/rnxqtvv6advgidzfs6am.png"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://kinja.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://i.kinja-img.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://x.kinja-static.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://f.kinja-static.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://www.googletagservices.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://c.amazon-adsystem.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://aax.amazon-adsystem.com/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://beacon.krxd.net/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://stats.g.doubleclick.net/"><link rel="dns-prefetch" href="http://js-agent.newrelic.com/"><link rel="preconnect" href="https://i.kinja-img.com/"><link rel="preconnect" href="http://x.kinja-static.com/"><link rel="preconnect" href="http://f.kinja-static.com/" crossorigin=""><link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Deadspin - All stories" href="http://feeds.gawker.com/deadspin/full"><meta name="keywords" value="Washington Nationals, danny espinosa, MLB Playoffs, MLB, baseball, Deadspin"><meta name="news_keywords" value="Washington Nationals, danny espinosa, MLB Playoffs, MLB, baseball, Deadspin"><link rel="canonical" href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769"><meta name="twitter:url" value="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769"><meta value="The Nationals Are Stuck With Danny Espinosa Tonight, Unless They Opt For The Only Thing Worse" name="og:title"><meta value="article" name="og:type"><meta name="twitter:image" value="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--SUEXWZgf--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_450,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg"><meta value="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--SUEXWZgf--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_450,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" name="og:image"><meta name="author" value="Chris Thompson"><meta value="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769" name="og:url"><meta name="twitter:card" value="summary_large_image"><meta name="twitter:site" value="@deadspin"><meta name="twitter:title" value="The Nationals Are Stuck With Danny Espinosa Tonight, Unless They Opt For The Only Thing Worse"><meta value="Washington’s Danny Espinosa problem is inextricably linked to its long-running center-field problem. If they had a credible fourth outfielder on the roster, Danny Espinosa would be nailed to the bench, and we would all be spared his nightly terribleness." name="og:description"><meta name="description" value="Washington’s Danny Espinosa problem is inextricably linked to its long-running center-field problem. If they had a credible fourth outfielder on the roster, Danny Espinosa would be nailed to the bench, and we would all be spared his nightly terribleness."><meta name="twitter:description" value="Washington’s Danny Espinosa problem is inextricably linked to its long-running center-field problem. If they had a credible fourth outfielder on the roster, Danny Espinosa would be nailed to the bench, and we would all be spared his nightly terribleness."><meta value="en_US" name="og:locale"><meta value="Deadspin" name="og:site_name"><meta value="49024928184" name="fb:app_id"><link rel="amphtml" href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769/amp"> </head><body class="deadspin blog-group-deadspin custom-skin permalink en-US f_adx_permalink_text_on f_amazon_matchbuy_on f_amp_comments_on f_amp_fs_on f_amp_use_dap_on f_ampad_viewability_experiment_on f_analyticstracking_on f_cloud_draft_search_on f_commerce_image_b_on f_commerce_v2_on f_constrain_oversize_mobile_ads_on f_curation_on f_curation_force_layout_off f_curation_v2_on f_dap_tables_on f_dfp_desktop_three_on f_dfp_lineitem_actions_on f_dfp_smartwrapper_header_on f_dfp_smartwrapper_timeout_2000 f_dfpservice_on f_disable_cleartargeting_on f_disable_splashy_emptiness_on f_draftwarning_on f_dynamic_billboard_on f_ecommerce_blogsales_on f_editor_use_dap_on f_featured_post_on f_featured_post_more_space_on f_featured_sponsored_ads_on f_fix_safari_iframe_sizing_on f_frontendtiming_on f_genius_link_on f_gmg_footer_on f_gns_on f_goodbye_gawker_sadface_emoji_on f_image_alignment_on f_image_positioning_fix_on f_image_pre_clean_migrate_on f_link_selection_fix_on f_links_service_on f_liveblog_on f_liveblog_scroll_on f_merged_manage_page_on f_moatads_headertag_on f_moatads_promoted_on f_mobile_outstream_on f_mobilenav_on f_moderation_on f_nav_svg_test_on f_nested_promotion_bug_on f_networknav_on f_new_in_post_on f_newrelicrum_on f_newsletter_fs_on f_newsletter_nologin_on f_nielsen_dcr_on f_old_analytics_remove_on f_only_taboola_on f_outstream_inview_on f_parsely_on f_pendingmember_on f_permalink_body_mobile_ad_on f_permalink_body_mobile_ad_label_on f_permalink_paragraph_ads_on f_post_completion_on f_preload_rubicon_header_on f_promoted_cleanup_on f_promotion_mobile_on f_qa_live_updates_on f_qa_module_on f_qa_multiple_participants_on f_raven_on f_record_posts_seen_on f_related_module_on f_reply_editor_dap_on f_replyinsets_on f_rubicon_no_collapse_on f_safeframe_no_collapse_on f_safeframe_timer_check_on f_scrollbacknav_on f_sidebar_commerce_module_on f_simplereach_expanded_on f_splashy_ad_on f_subblog_drafts_on f_subscription_first_on f_superhero_collapse_on f_superhero_resize_0 f_taboola_abp_on f_taboola_abp_instream_fifth_on f_taboola_stream_on f_tn8_refresh_defer_on f_tn8_refresh_defer_2_on f_track_adblock_on f_twitter_cleanup_on f_universalanalytics_on f_use_dap_on f_userstats_on f_vertical_tag_settings_on f_video_preroll_flag_on f_video_preroll_flag_inversion_on f_webpack_admodule_zone_none f_welcome_ad_on pe_newlayout" data-timezone-offset="-14400000"><div id="splashy-ad-container-top" class="splashy-ad-container no-overflow" style="display: none;"><div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-splashy-top js_ad-splashy-top"><div id="ad-container-82859956" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="SPLASHYTOP"></div></div></div><div class="success-messages" id="js_success-box-container"></div><div class="navwrap--outer js-navwrap--outer navwrap--permalink "><nav class="js_global-nav-wrap js_top-nav global-nav global-nav--networknav notransition shown hide-for-medium-down global-nav--permalink"><div class="topnav"><div class="networknav js_networknav"><ul class="networknav__sitelist"><li class="networknav__search js_networknav__search"><a class="networknav__search-link js_networknav-search-btn" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Search click', 'permalink');"><svg class="svg-icon svg-search"><use xlink:href="#iconset-search"/></svg></a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger" data-blog-id="11" data-blog-group="deadspin" data-blog-domain="deadspin.com"><a href="http://deadspin.com/" class=" networknav__active-blogname" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'highlighed deadspin');">deadspin</a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger hide " data-blog-id="11" data-blog-group="deadspin" data-blog-domain="deadspin.com"><a onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'Deadspin - highlighted');" href="http://deadspin.com/">Deadspin</a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger" data-blog-id="4" data-blog-group="gizmodo" data-blog-domain="gizmodo.com"><a onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'Gizmodo');" href="http://gizmodo.com/">Gizmodo</a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger" data-blog-id="12" data-blog-group="jalopnik" data-blog-domain="jalopnik.com"><a onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'Jalopnik');" href="http://jalopnik.com/">Jalopnik</a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger" data-blog-id="39" data-blog-group="jezebel" data-blog-domain="jezebel.com"><a onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'Jezebel');" href="http://jezebel.com/">Jezebel</a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger" data-blog-id="9" data-blog-group="kotaku" data-blog-domain="kotaku.com"><a onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'Kotaku');" href="http://kotaku.com/">Kotaku</a></li><li class="js_hovernav__trigger" data-blog-id="17" data-blog-group="lifehacker" data-blog-domain="lifehacker.com"><a onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Network navigation', 'Network Blog Click', 'Lifehacker');" href="http://lifehacker.com/">Lifehacker</a></li></ul><div class="js_hovernav-region networknav__hovernav-wrapper networknav__hovernav--vertical"></div><div class="topnav__search-wrapper topnav__search-wrapper--networknav js_networknav-search-region"></div><div class="networknav__usertools"><div class="js_curation-tool-region"></div><span class="js_notif-wrapper__networknav"></span><div class="js_right-user-bar"></div></div></div><div class="topnav__logostrip topnav__logostrip--sectionnav"><div class="topnav__logo-wrapper"><div class="topnav__logo"><a href="http://deadspin.com/" class="logo" title="Deadspin" data-ga="[Sub navigation, Logo click, js_pageType]"><svg id="deadspin-avatar-svg" class="hide"><symbol id="deadspin-avatar-svgid"><path fill="#1C3A4D" d="M0 0h64v64H0z"/><path d="M51.733 25.98H15.267V13H41.28c3.813 0 6.655 1.11 8.448 3.3 2.857 3.49 2.177 8.645 2.005 9.68M49.726 41.5c-.015.09-1.98 11.42-12.858 11.418H13.392c.008 0-.63-.032-1.04-.525-.31-.37-.415-.905-.317-1.59.245-1.707 2.066-15.7 3.026-23.097h13.546L26.7 40.402h10.37l1.89-12.696H51.5L49.726 41.5z" fill="#FFF"/></symbol></svg><svg class="gmg-avatar gmg-avatar--deadspin topnav__scrollback-avatar" viewbox="0 0 64 64"><use xlink:href="#deadspin-avatar-svgid"/></svg><svg id="deadspin-svg" class="hide"><symbol id="deadspin-svgid"><path d="M241.564 31.915c-.22.03-.732.085-1.417.085-1.536 0-4.372-.3-6.095-2.3-1.338-1.555-1.792-3.857-1.35-6.844 1.106-7.474 1.56-10.383 1.73-11.45l.075-.516h10.235l-3.178 21.025zm-18.81.034h-9.673l3.017-21.06h9.704l-3.045 21.06zm-6.637-22.332V.13h20.535c3.014 0 5.252.884 6.652 2.624 1.788 2.223 1.79 5.254 1.632 6.864h-28.82zm-8.12 22.31c-.186.022-.676.072-1.337.072-1.57 0-4.455-.295-6.16-2.265-1.222-1.414-1.65-3.46-1.272-6.083 1.282-8.91 1.746-12.265 1.827-12.86h5.054l-.047-.027h5.108l-3.173 21.162zm3.365-22.435h-5.273c-1.976 0-3.232-.88-3.668-1.467-2.157-2.91-1.515-7.34-1.4-8.02h11.762l-1.422 9.487zm-41.382.16l1.136-9.488h18.52c2.492 0 4.553.948 5.962 2.74 1.258 1.603 1.95 3.835 1.95 6.287 0 .153-.003.307-.008.46h-27.56zm17.025 11.343h-8.502l-.055.603c-.04.44-.13 1.264-.33 2.687-1.303 7.496-9.832 7.713-10.8 7.713h-.012l2.522-21.075h27.607c-.664 5.153-4.27 10.07-10.43 10.07zm-26.8-10.863h-21.802v-.01C138.768.477 148.313.015 148.718 0h18.603c-.043 6.775-4.097 9.238-7.114 10.133zm3.586 11.494l-.004.12C162.844 31.506 153.723 32 151.903 32c-.25 0-.413-.007-.466-.01l-.04-.002h-15.953c.05-6.722 4.54-9.15 7.754-10.026h11.694V20.69h-10.266l-.444-.194c-2.5-1.087-5.513-3.55-5.768-9.084h20.147l.487.228c2.516 1.18 5.382 3.87 4.744 9.987zm-32.375 1.434c-.057.347-1.57 8.94-10.176 8.94h-18.576c.005 0-.506-.026-.83-.42-.244-.292-.324-.697-.246-1.237.2-1.384 1.752-13.186 2.476-18.7h10.734L113.194 22.2h8.202l1.59-10.558h9.913l-1.485 11.42zm-27.27-12.745V.75h20.585c3.044 0 5.306.884 6.723 2.63 1.87 2.3 1.783 5.504 1.63 6.935h-28.937zm-34.392-.294C70.64.947 80.14.328 80.563.306h8.34c3.7 0 6.407 1.037 8.05 3.082 1.762 2.193 1.89 4.99 1.777 6.634H69.753zm28.805 1.343l-.007.034-1.043 10.423C97.462 22.232 96.293 32 87.31 32c-.417 0-.85-.022-1.29-.065l1.413-10.584H68.147l1.533-9.928v-.05c0-.038.003-.073.003-.11h28.894c-.007.042-.015.077-.02.1zm-22.09 20.623h-9.962l1.45-9.393h9.705l-1.192 9.393zm-32.478-11v1.272h11.472l.25.09c1.442.512 2.608 1.276 3.467 2.268 1.397 1.614 1.936 3.805 1.603 6.513-.084.5-.91.87-2.007.87l-17.97-.003c-.32-.04-2.755-.422-4.472-2.69-1.544-2.04-2.01-4.952-1.385-8.657.757-5.233 1.486-9.108 1.593-9.665h24.065l2.326.01c.06.022.178.085.283.242.21.317.244.847.1 1.535-.14.667-1.522 6.472-7.237 8.214H43.99zm16.5-11.354H36.56V.136H65.71c-.037 5.52-2.81 8.203-5.22 9.496zm-29.247 1.08H2.57V.46h20.454c2.998 0 5.232.877 6.642 2.608 2.247 2.757 1.712 6.83 1.577 7.647zm-1.578 12.265C29.653 23.05 28.108 32 19.555 32H1.095c.006 0-.496-.026-.818-.416-.243-.29-.326-.714-.25-1.257.194-1.348 1.625-12.404 2.38-18.25h10.65l-1.5 10.033h8.155L21.2 12.078h9.86l-1.395 10.9z" fill="#249D9D" fill-rule="evenodd"/></symbol></svg><svg class="gmg-logo gmg-logo--deadspin topnav__gmg-logo" viewbox="0 0 245 32"><use xlink:href="#deadspin-svgid"/></svg></a></div></div><div class="section-nav"><ul class="js_sections"><li class="js_nav-section" data-blogid="1545464977" data-index="1"><a href="http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'theconcourse', 'permalink')">The Concourse</a></li><li class="js_nav-section" data-blogid="1634307700" data-index="2"><a href="http://adequateman.deadspin.com/" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'adequateman', 'permalink')">Adequate Man</a></li><li class="js_nav-section" data-tagcanonical="screamer" data-index="3"><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/screamer" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'screamer', 'permalink')">Screamer</a></li><li class="js_nav-section" data-tagcanonical="nfl" data-index="4"><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/nfl" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'nfl', 'permalink')">NFL</a></li><li class="js_nav-section" data-tagcanonical="mlb" data-index="5"><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/mlb" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'mlb', 'permalink')">MLB</a></li><li class="js_nav-section" data-tagcanonical="ncaa" data-index="6"><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/ncaa" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'ncaa', 'permalink')">NCAA</a></li><li class="js_nav-section" data-tagcanonical="drewmagary" data-index="7"><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/drewmagary" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'drewmagary', 'permalink')">Drew Magary</a></li></ul></div><div class="topnav__scrollback-tools"><a class="topnav__back-to-top js_scroll-to-top" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sub navigation', 'Back to top', 'permalink')"><svg class="svg-icon svg-arrow-top"><use xlink:href="#iconset-arrow-top"/></svg></a></div></div></div><div class="proxima f-dropdown nav-dropdown content notif-menu" id="js_notifications--dropdown" data-dropdown-content=""><div class="js_spinner notifications-spinner"><span class="spinner bounce"><span class="one"></span><span class="two"></span><span class="three"></span></span></div></div><div class="js_global-user scrollable-container noskimlinks noskimwords"><div class="proxima f-dropdown nav-dropdown content user-menu user-menu--mobile" id="js_usermenu--dropdown" data-dropdown-content=""></div></div></nav><nav class="js_global-nav-wrap js_top-nav global-nav mobile-nav notransition shown hide-for-large-up"><div class="mobile-nav__mainstrip"><div class="mobile-nav__mainstrip--logo"><a href="http://deadspin.com/" class="logo" title="Deadspin" data-ga="[Sub navigation, Logo click, js_pageType]"><svg id="deadspin-avatar-svg" class="hide"><symbol id="deadspin-avatar-svgid"><path fill="#1C3A4D" d="M0 0h64v64H0z"/><path d="M51.733 25.98H15.267V13H41.28c3.813 0 6.655 1.11 8.448 3.3 2.857 3.49 2.177 8.645 2.005 9.68M49.726 41.5c-.015.09-1.98 11.42-12.858 11.418H13.392c.008 0-.63-.032-1.04-.525-.31-.37-.415-.905-.317-1.59.245-1.707 2.066-15.7 3.026-23.097h13.546L26.7 40.402h10.37l1.89-12.696H51.5L49.726 41.5z" fill="#FFF"/></symbol></svg><svg class="gmg-avatar gmg-avatar--deadspin topnav__scrollback-avatar" viewbox="0 0 64 64"><use xlink:href="#deadspin-avatar-svgid"/></svg><svg id="deadspin-svg" class="hide"><symbol id="deadspin-svgid"><path d="M241.564 31.915c-.22.03-.732.085-1.417.085-1.536 0-4.372-.3-6.095-2.3-1.338-1.555-1.792-3.857-1.35-6.844 1.106-7.474 1.56-10.383 1.73-11.45l.075-.516h10.235l-3.178 21.025zm-18.81.034h-9.673l3.017-21.06h9.704l-3.045 21.06zm-6.637-22.332V.13h20.535c3.014 0 5.252.884 6.652 2.624 1.788 2.223 1.79 5.254 1.632 6.864h-28.82zm-8.12 22.31c-.186.022-.676.072-1.337.072-1.57 0-4.455-.295-6.16-2.265-1.222-1.414-1.65-3.46-1.272-6.083 1.282-8.91 1.746-12.265 1.827-12.86h5.054l-.047-.027h5.108l-3.173 21.162zm3.365-22.435h-5.273c-1.976 0-3.232-.88-3.668-1.467-2.157-2.91-1.515-7.34-1.4-8.02h11.762l-1.422 9.487zm-41.382.16l1.136-9.488h18.52c2.492 0 4.553.948 5.962 2.74 1.258 1.603 1.95 3.835 1.95 6.287 0 .153-.003.307-.008.46h-27.56zm17.025 11.343h-8.502l-.055.603c-.04.44-.13 1.264-.33 2.687-1.303 7.496-9.832 7.713-10.8 7.713h-.012l2.522-21.075h27.607c-.664 5.153-4.27 10.07-10.43 10.07zm-26.8-10.863h-21.802v-.01C138.768.477 148.313.015 148.718 0h18.603c-.043 6.775-4.097 9.238-7.114 10.133zm3.586 11.494l-.004.12C162.844 31.506 153.723 32 151.903 32c-.25 0-.413-.007-.466-.01l-.04-.002h-15.953c.05-6.722 4.54-9.15 7.754-10.026h11.694V20.69h-10.266l-.444-.194c-2.5-1.087-5.513-3.55-5.768-9.084h20.147l.487.228c2.516 1.18 5.382 3.87 4.744 9.987zm-32.375 1.434c-.057.347-1.57 8.94-10.176 8.94h-18.576c.005 0-.506-.026-.83-.42-.244-.292-.324-.697-.246-1.237.2-1.384 1.752-13.186 2.476-18.7h10.734L113.194 22.2h8.202l1.59-10.558h9.913l-1.485 11.42zm-27.27-12.745V.75h20.585c3.044 0 5.306.884 6.723 2.63 1.87 2.3 1.783 5.504 1.63 6.935h-28.937zm-34.392-.294C70.64.947 80.14.328 80.563.306h8.34c3.7 0 6.407 1.037 8.05 3.082 1.762 2.193 1.89 4.99 1.777 6.634H69.753zm28.805 1.343l-.007.034-1.043 10.423C97.462 22.232 96.293 32 87.31 32c-.417 0-.85-.022-1.29-.065l1.413-10.584H68.147l1.533-9.928v-.05c0-.038.003-.073.003-.11h28.894c-.007.042-.015.077-.02.1zm-22.09 20.623h-9.962l1.45-9.393h9.705l-1.192 9.393zm-32.478-11v1.272h11.472l.25.09c1.442.512 2.608 1.276 3.467 2.268 1.397 1.614 1.936 3.805 1.603 6.513-.084.5-.91.87-2.007.87l-17.97-.003c-.32-.04-2.755-.422-4.472-2.69-1.544-2.04-2.01-4.952-1.385-8.657.757-5.233 1.486-9.108 1.593-9.665h24.065l2.326.01c.06.022.178.085.283.242.21.317.244.847.1 1.535-.14.667-1.522 6.472-7.237 8.214H43.99zm16.5-11.354H36.56V.136H65.71c-.037 5.52-2.81 8.203-5.22 9.496zm-29.247 1.08H2.57V.46h20.454c2.998 0 5.232.877 6.642 2.608 2.247 2.757 1.712 6.83 1.577 7.647zm-1.578 12.265C29.653 23.05 28.108 32 19.555 32H1.095c.006 0-.496-.026-.818-.416-.243-.29-.326-.714-.25-1.257.194-1.348 1.625-12.404 2.38-18.25h10.65l-1.5 10.033h8.155L21.2 12.078h9.86l-1.395 10.9z" fill="#249D9D" fill-rule="evenodd"/></symbol></svg><svg class="gmg-logo gmg-logo--deadspin topnav__gmg-logo" viewbox="0 0 245 32"><use xlink:href="#deadspin-svgid"/></svg></a></div><div class="mobile-nav__mainstrip--menu js_mobile-nav-menu" data-ga="[Mobile navigation, Navigation Menu Click, permalink]"><div class="mobile-nav__menu"><div class="mobile-nav__hamburger"><span></span><span></span><span></span></div><span class="js_notif-mobile-badge"></span></div></div></div></nav><nav class="js_global-nav-wrap js_top-nav global-nav notransition hide"><div class="global-nav__left global-nav__triggers"><a class="js_mobile-menu-button hamburger-trigger hamburger-trigger--mobile" data-ga="[Kinja Menu, Menu Click, js_pageType]"><span class="icon-dustinburger"><span></span><span></span><span></span></span></a><div class="f-dropdown-ct"><a data-dropdown="global-blog" class="hamburger-trigger hamburger-trigger--desktop" data-ga="[Kinja Menu, Menu Click, js_pageType]"><span class="icon-dustinburger"><span></span><span></span><span></span></span></a><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" id="global-search-trigger" class="search-trigger icon--svg u-prepended u-highlighted--onhover u-undecorated" data-dropdown="global-search" data-ga="[Kinja Menu, Search Click, js_pageType]"><svg class="svg-icon svg-search"><use xlink:href="#iconset-search"/></svg><svg class="svg-icon svg-close"><use xlink:href="#iconset-close"/></svg></a></div></div><div class="global-nav__right global-nav__triggers"><div class="js_right-user-bar global-nav__child"></div></div><div class="global-nav__center row"><div class="logo-wrapper"><a href="http://deadspin.com/" class="logo" title="Deadspin" data-ga="[Sub navigation, Logo click, js_pageType]"><svg id="deadspin-avatar-svg" class="hide"><symbol id="deadspin-avatar-svgid"><path fill="#1C3A4D" d="M0 0h64v64H0z"/><path d="M51.733 25.98H15.267V13H41.28c3.813 0 6.655 1.11 8.448 3.3 2.857 3.49 2.177 8.645 2.005 9.68M49.726 41.5c-.015.09-1.98 11.42-12.858 11.418H13.392c.008 0-.63-.032-1.04-.525-.31-.37-.415-.905-.317-1.59.245-1.707 2.066-15.7 3.026-23.097h13.546L26.7 40.402h10.37l1.89-12.696H51.5L49.726 41.5z" fill="#FFF"/></symbol></svg><svg class="gmg-avatar gmg-avatar--deadspin topnav__scrollback-avatar" viewbox="0 0 64 64"><use xlink:href="#deadspin-avatar-svgid"/></svg><svg id="deadspin-svg" class="hide"><symbol id="deadspin-svgid"><path d="M241.564 31.915c-.22.03-.732.085-1.417.085-1.536 0-4.372-.3-6.095-2.3-1.338-1.555-1.792-3.857-1.35-6.844 1.106-7.474 1.56-10.383 1.73-11.45l.075-.516h10.235l-3.178 21.025zm-18.81.034h-9.673l3.017-21.06h9.704l-3.045 21.06zm-6.637-22.332V.13h20.535c3.014 0 5.252.884 6.652 2.624 1.788 2.223 1.79 5.254 1.632 6.864h-28.82zm-8.12 22.31c-.186.022-.676.072-1.337.072-1.57 0-4.455-.295-6.16-2.265-1.222-1.414-1.65-3.46-1.272-6.083 1.282-8.91 1.746-12.265 1.827-12.86h5.054l-.047-.027h5.108l-3.173 21.162zm3.365-22.435h-5.273c-1.976 0-3.232-.88-3.668-1.467-2.157-2.91-1.515-7.34-1.4-8.02h11.762l-1.422 9.487zm-41.382.16l1.136-9.488h18.52c2.492 0 4.553.948 5.962 2.74 1.258 1.603 1.95 3.835 1.95 6.287 0 .153-.003.307-.008.46h-27.56zm17.025 11.343h-8.502l-.055.603c-.04.44-.13 1.264-.33 2.687-1.303 7.496-9.832 7.713-10.8 7.713h-.012l2.522-21.075h27.607c-.664 5.153-4.27 10.07-10.43 10.07zm-26.8-10.863h-21.802v-.01C138.768.477 148.313.015 148.718 0h18.603c-.043 6.775-4.097 9.238-7.114 10.133zm3.586 11.494l-.004.12C162.844 31.506 153.723 32 151.903 32c-.25 0-.413-.007-.466-.01l-.04-.002h-15.953c.05-6.722 4.54-9.15 7.754-10.026h11.694V20.69h-10.266l-.444-.194c-2.5-1.087-5.513-3.55-5.768-9.084h20.147l.487.228c2.516 1.18 5.382 3.87 4.744 9.987zm-32.375 1.434c-.057.347-1.57 8.94-10.176 8.94h-18.576c.005 0-.506-.026-.83-.42-.244-.292-.324-.697-.246-1.237.2-1.384 1.752-13.186 2.476-18.7h10.734L113.194 22.2h8.202l1.59-10.558h9.913l-1.485 11.42zm-27.27-12.745V.75h20.585c3.044 0 5.306.884 6.723 2.63 1.87 2.3 1.783 5.504 1.63 6.935h-28.937zm-34.392-.294C70.64.947 80.14.328 80.563.306h8.34c3.7 0 6.407 1.037 8.05 3.082 1.762 2.193 1.89 4.99 1.777 6.634H69.753zm28.805 1.343l-.007.034-1.043 10.423C97.462 22.232 96.293 32 87.31 32c-.417 0-.85-.022-1.29-.065l1.413-10.584H68.147l1.533-9.928v-.05c0-.038.003-.073.003-.11h28.894c-.007.042-.015.077-.02.1zm-22.09 20.623h-9.962l1.45-9.393h9.705l-1.192 9.393zm-32.478-11v1.272h11.472l.25.09c1.442.512 2.608 1.276 3.467 2.268 1.397 1.614 1.936 3.805 1.603 6.513-.084.5-.91.87-2.007.87l-17.97-.003c-.32-.04-2.755-.422-4.472-2.69-1.544-2.04-2.01-4.952-1.385-8.657.757-5.233 1.486-9.108 1.593-9.665h24.065l2.326.01c.06.022.178.085.283.242.21.317.244.847.1 1.535-.14.667-1.522 6.472-7.237 8.214H43.99zm16.5-11.354H36.56V.136H65.71c-.037 5.52-2.81 8.203-5.22 9.496zm-29.247 1.08H2.57V.46h20.454c2.998 0 5.232.877 6.642 2.608 2.247 2.757 1.712 6.83 1.577 7.647zm-1.578 12.265C29.653 23.05 28.108 32 19.555 32H1.095c.006 0-.496-.026-.818-.416-.243-.29-.326-.714-.25-1.257.194-1.348 1.625-12.404 2.38-18.25h10.65l-1.5 10.033h8.155L21.2 12.078h9.86l-1.395 10.9z" fill="#249D9D" fill-rule="evenodd"/></symbol></svg><svg class="gmg-logo gmg-logo--deadspin topnav__gmg-logo" viewbox="0 0 245 32"><use xlink:href="#deadspin-svgid"/></svg></a></div></div><div class="proxima f-dropdown nav-dropdown content notif-menu" id="js_notifications--dropdown" data-dropdown-content=""><div class="js_spinner notifications-spinner"><span class="spinner bounce"><span class="one"></span><span class="two"></span><span class="three"></span></span></div></div><div class="js_global-user scrollable-container noskimlinks noskimwords"><div class="proxima f-dropdown nav-dropdown content user-menu user-menu--mobile" id="js_usermenu--dropdown" data-dropdown-content=""></div></div></nav></div><div class="mezzanine"><div id="ad-970x90-container" class="js_ad-top ad-wide ad-top show-for-xlarge-up"><div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-top-banner js_ad-top-banner"><div id="ad-container-44324341" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="TOP_BANNER"></div></div></div></div><div class="page js_page"><section class="main"><div class="main__content js_main__content"><div id="fb-root"></div><section class="branch-wrapper"><div id="editorplaceholder" class="editorplaceholder"></div><div class="post-wrapper js_post-wrapper "><article class="post hentry js_post_item status-published post-item-permalink commented js_amazon_module" data-id="1787706769" id="post_1787706769" data-model="%7B%22id%22%3A1787706769%2C%22isBlip%22%3Afalse%2C%22authorBlogId%22%3A140994%2C%22authorId%22%3A%225735415141433439515%22%2C%22defaultBlogId%22%3A11%2C%22contentType%22%3A%22Media%22%2C%22sharedPostId%22%3Anull%2C%22parentId%22%3Anull%2C%22parentAuthorId%22%3Anull%2C%22starterId%22%3A1787706769%7D"><header><header class=""><h1 class="headline hover-highlight entry-title js_entry-title"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769" data-id="" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">The Nationals Are Stuck With Danny Espinosa Tonight, Unless They Opt For The Only Thing Worse</a></h1></header><div class="meta--pe"><div class="meta__avatar js_meta-byline"><a href="http://kinja.com/miserableshitehawk" class="avatar__link"><img class="avatar__img" src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--yMi7kmQV--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,q_80,w_80/v4qindh7tx4iw5zlc0xr.jpg"></a></div><div class="meta__text"><div class="meta__byline js_meta-byline author"><a href="http://kinja.com/miserableshitehawk">Chris Thompson</a></div><time class="meta__time updated" datetime="2016-10-13T12:34:00-04:00"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769" class="js_entry-link js_publish_time" target="_self" title="10/13/16 12:34pm">Today 12:34pm</a></time><div class="tags-container "><a class="first-tag" href="http://deadspin.com/tag/washington-nationals" data-urlname="washington-nationals" data-dropdown="taglist" data-options="is_hover:true;autoalign:true;" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink meta', 'Tag click', 'First tag click');">Filed to: <span>Washington Nationals</span><svg class="svg-icon svg-chevron chevron--bottom"><use xlink:href="#iconset-chevron-right"/></svg></a><div id="taglist" class="taglist tiny f-dropdown text-upper" data-dropdown-content=""><div><ul><li><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/danny-espinosa" data-urlname="danny-espinosa" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink meta', 'Tag click', 'Dropdown tag click');">danny espinosa</a></li><li><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/mlb-playoffs" data-urlname="mlb-playoffs" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink meta', 'Tag click', 'Dropdown tag click');">MLB Playoffs</a></li><li><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/mlb" data-urlname="mlb" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink meta', 'Tag click', 'Dropdown tag click');">MLB</a></li><li><a href="http://deadspin.com/tag/baseball" data-urlname="baseball" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink meta', 'Tag click', 'Dropdown tag click');">baseball</a></li></ul></div></div></div></div><div class="meta__right"><div class="meta__data view-count-container"></div><a class="meta__data meta__data--comment js_meta__data--comment" href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#replies"><svg class="svg-icon giant stroked svg-bubble--giant"><use xlink:href="#iconset-bubble--giant"/></svg><span>77</span></a><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" class="meta__data meta__data--recommend js_like icon--svg u-darkened--onhover js_like_icon" title="Recommend" data-likecount="9" data-analytics-target="starterTop"><svg class="svg-icon giant stroked svg-star--giant"><use xlink:href="#iconset-star--giant"/></svg><span class="js_like_count">9</span></a><div class="meta__tools js_meta-tools post-dropdown-ct js_post-dropdown-ct"><ul id="dropdown-1787706769" class="f-dropdown proxima js_post-dropdown js_follow-controls js_user-follow-controls whitelisted-links" data-postid="1787706769" data-starterid="1787706769" data-authorid="5735415141433439515" data-blogid="140994" data-sourceblogid="11" data-dropdown-content=""><li class="js_edit-post hover-icon hide readonly-hide"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" rel="nofollow" class="icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended"><svg class="svg-icon svg-write"><use xlink:href="#iconset-write"/></svg>Edit</a></li><li class="js_promote hover-icon hide readonly-hide"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" rel="nofollow" class="icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended"><svg class="svg-icon svg-icon--filled svg-star-circle"><use xlink:href="#iconset-star-circle"/></svg>Promote</a></li><li class="js_dismiss hover-icon hide readonly-hide"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" class="dismiss icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended" rel="nofollow" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Group Chats', 'click', 'Dismiss click');"><svg class="svg-icon svg-user-remove"><use xlink:href="#iconset-user-remove"/></svg>Dismiss</a><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" class="undismiss icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended" rel="nofollow" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Group Chats', 'click', 'Undismiss click');"><svg class="svg-icon svg-user-remove"><use xlink:href="#iconset-user-remove"/></svg>Undismiss</a></li><li class="js_hide-post hover-icon hide readonly-hide"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" rel="nofollow" class="icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended"><svg class="svg-icon svg-disabled"><use xlink:href="#iconset-disabled"/></svg>Hide</a></li><li class="js_kinja-share-block readonly-hide"><a class="js_kinja-share hover-icon icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended" href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" rel="nofollow"><svg class="svg-icon svg-external-link"><use xlink:href="#iconset-external-link"/></svg>Share to Kinja</a></li><li class="js_toggle-qa hover-icon readonly-hide"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" rel="nofollow" class="icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended"><svg class="svg-icon svg-bubble"><use xlink:href="#iconset-bubble"/></svg>Toggle Conversation tools</a></li><li class="js_go-to-permalink"><a class="hover-icon icon--svg u-darkened--onhover u-prepended" href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Group Chats', 'click', 'Drop down - Go to permalink click');"><svg class="svg-icon svg-link"><use xlink:href="#iconset-link"/></svg>Go to permalink</a></li></ul><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" target="_self" class="post-dropdown-trigger js_post-menu-toggler icon--svg u-darkened--onhover" data-dropdown="dropdown-1787706769"><svg class="svg-icon giant stroked svg-tools--giant"><use xlink:href="#iconset-tools--giant"/></svg></a></div></div></div></header><div class="post-content entry-content js_entry-content "> <figure class="js_marquee-assetfigure align--bleed "> <div class="img-wrapper lazy-image "> <div class="img-permalink-sub-wrapper" style="padding-bottom: 56.2%"> <span class="js_lightbox-wrapper lightbox-wrapper"> <span class="magnifier js_lightbox lightbox hide"> <svg class="svg-icon svg-zoom-in"> <use xlink:href="#iconset-zoom-in"/> </svg> </span> <picture> <source class="ls-small-media-source" data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" media="--small"> <source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" media="--xlarge"> <source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg"> <img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" class="lazyload ls-lazy-image-tag " data-sizes="auto" data-mp4-src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" data-webm-src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" data-poster-src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_xHfAJQS--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju.jpg" data-chomp-id="vmeayd7lteyycwzcdlju" data-format="jpg"> </picture> </span> </div> <figcaption>Photo credit: <a href="http://gettyimages.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Rob Carr/Getty</a></figcaption> </div> </figure> <p>Washington’s Danny Espinosa problem is inextricably linked to its long-running center-field problem. If they had a credible fourth outfielder on the roster, Danny Espinosa would be nailed to the bench, and we would all be spared his nightly terribleness.<br></p> <div class="js_ad-dynamic"> <div class="ad-unit ad-unit--in-post js_ad-unit js_ad-in-post hide-contents"> <div class="ad-inner"> <p class="ad-label proxima"><small class="proxima">Advertisement</small></p> <div id="ad-container-71814638" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="IN_POST"></div> <p class="ad-label-bottom"></p> </div> </div> </div> <p>The Espinosa problem is this: The Nats’ everyday shortstop is having a hysterically, legendarily bad NLDS. Through Tuesday’s Game 4, he is 1-11 at the plate, with eight strikeouts. In the eight at-bats that ended in strikeouts, Espinosa saw a total of just 34 pitches, just a hair over four per at-bat. In those eight at-bats, he has seen just 10 pitches that were not strikes one, two, or three. That is incredible. Through four games, he has been about as bad a hitter as is possible without accidentally leaving your bat in the dugout.</p><p>It’s even worse—the only thing worse, perhaps—than what he did in the regular season, when he hit just .209 and struck out 174 times, good for 7th most in baseball. Danny Espinosa is not a professional hitter, if the qualifications of a professional hitter include knowledge of the strike zone, any measure of plate discipline, and a certain aptitude for making the bat touch the baseball. He is a flailing mess at the plate, and he is at his worst right now, when the games matter most.</p> <div class="js_ad-mobile-dynamic js_ad-dynamic"> <div class="ad-unit ad-mobile js_ad-unit js_ad-mobile hide-contents"> <div class="ad-mobile-inner"> <p class="ad-label proxima"><small class="proxima">Advertisement</small></p> <div id="ad-container-44562014" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="MOBILE_IN_POST" data-paragraph-position="top"></div> <p class="ad-label-bottom"></p> </div> </div> </div> <p>This is a bummer, in no small part because Danny Espinosa has been around the Nationals his entire career and is an easy guy to like. He’s a twitchy, ferocious athlete with a bazooka of a throwing arm, and he grows cool and weird facial hair in the offseason in order to troll Nationals team photos in spring training. And, for a guy who has an almost impossible time putting the bat on the damn ball, he’s got some pop (26 dingers in the regular season) in those rare instances when one of his mighty chops makes contact.</p><p>He is also a very good and rangy defensive shortstop, an important asset for a team with the defensively challenged Daniel Murphy as the everyday second baseman. The good news is, the Nationals have <em>another </em>good and rangy defensive shortstop, one who also happens to be maybe the team’s best offensive weapon now that Bryce Harper has turned into a sulking, slap-hitting everyman. His name is Trea Turner, he is <em>the </em>prize prospect of the Nationals organization, and he produced a sizzling .342/.370/.567 slash line this year, with 13 homers and 33 stolen bases in just 73 games. Seems like the decision here should be pretty simple: instead of running out an awful hitter at an important infield spot, run out a fucking <em>brilliant </em>hitter instead.</p><p>Problem is, the Nats have Trea Turner playing center field, a position that is notably <em>not</em> the one he’s spent his entire career (to this point) learning and mastering. The Nats have Trea Turner playing center field because the two natural center fielders on the roster—Ben Revere and Michael Taylor—are close to useless at the plate. Revere is a corkscrewing mess whose signature move is popping the ball up in the infield, and Taylor has no command of the strike zone whatsoever and is far enough along in his career, now, that we can say with some confidence that he is probably a tomato can.</p> <div class="ad-promotions-container js_ad-promotion row ad-wide ad-top js_ad-promotion-mobile" data-mobile="true"> <div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-mobile ad-promotion js_ad-promotion"> <div id="ad-container-14872725" class="ad-container js_ad-container js_ad-container-top" data-zone-type="MOBILE_PERMALINK_NATIVE"></div> </div> </div> <div class="taboola-mobile-second hide-contents ad-mobile"> <div class="ad-mobile-inner"> <p class="ad-label proxima"><small class=" proxima">Sponsored</small></p> <div class="taboola-mobile-article-carousel" id="taboola-mobile-article-carousel"></div> <p class="ad-label-bottom"></p> </div> </div> <p>Still, you’d have to be pretty fucking horrible to have been a <em>worse </em>option than Danny Espinosa this season, and <em>so </em>bad that replacing you with a guy who has never played your position—and in the playoffs, no less—is preferable. Unbelievably, the numbers actually support this: Revere’s .217/.260/.300 slash in 375 plate appearances is only marginally worse than Taylor’s .231/.278/.376 in 237. And Taylor strikes out <em>a lot</em>: on 32.5 percent of his plate appearances, in fact—significantly worse than even Espinosa’s depressing 29 percent. And neither are remotely the defensive player Espinosa is.</p><p>Underwhelming center-field play (boy, that’s a charitable way of putting it, can you tell I’m a Nats fan?) has become something of a norm in Washington during the team’s contending years. It was <em>also </em>a feature of their plucky but miserable years—in the mid-aughts the likes of Brad Wilkerson, Marlon Byrd, and Lastings Milledge were out there—but has lately become something like the baseball version of the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. People are moved into the role for hazy, possibly superstitious reasons, and then, as if predestined, they fall apart and move on.</p> <div class="js_ad-dynamic"> <div class="ad-unit ad-unit--in-post js_ad-unit js_ad-in-post hide-contents"> <div class="ad-inner"> <p class="ad-label proxima"><small class="proxima">Advertisement</small></p> <div id="ad-container-31396562" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="IN_POST"></div> <p class="ad-label-bottom"></p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="js_ad-mobile-dynamic js_ad-dynamic"> <div class="ad-unit ad-mobile js_ad-unit js_ad-mobile hide-contents"> <div class="ad-mobile-inner"> <p class="ad-label proxima"><small class="proxima">Advertisement</small></p> <div id="ad-container-37818407" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="MOBILE_IN_POST" data-paragraph-position="mid"></div> <p class="ad-label-bottom"></p> </div> </div> </div> <p>This may have to do with an antiquated idea of what a center fielder must be. GM Mike Rizzo shipped out Milledge and reliever Joel Hanrahan in a 2009 trade for Nyjer Morgan, in a move that was <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/30/AR2009063003697.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">celebrated at the time</a> for solidifying the leadoff spot in the everyday lineup. Morgan had only become an everyday player that year, and Rizzo’s enthusiasm was misplaced—the hyped leadoff man hit .251 with a .633 OPS in his first full season in DC, and was caught stealing an MLB-worst 17 times. The team <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/nationals/washington-nationals-trade-nyjer-morgan-to-milwaukee-brewers/2011/03/27/AFwJxrkB_story.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">traded him the following off-season</a> for scraps and cash, in what would be the start of an embarrassing pattern: use assets to acquire a veteran center fielder and leadoff man, watch his performance crater, and lose him for next to nothing.</p><p>The next notable example came in 2013, when they <a href="http://www.federalbaseball.com/2015/5/24/8649329/revisiting-the-washington-nationals-trade-for-denard-span" target="_blank" rel="noopener">traded a valuable pitching prospect</a> for Denard Span and immediately named him the everyday center fielder and leadoff man. Span did his job—he hit well in 2013 and even better in 2014—until nagging back injuries caused him to miss nearly two-thirds of Washington’s disastrous 2015 season, leaving rookie Michael Taylor to attempt and fail to approximate the kind of production needed from a leadoff hitter. Fearing that Span’s bad back would be a lingering, long-term problem, the Nats let Span leave in free agency after the season.</p><p>The organization’s response to Span’s demise and departure was telling. They cast about for someone in the same very specific mold, the quick and small slap-hitter traditionally socked into the leadoff spot from sheer lack of imagination. This led them to Ben Revere, whose qualifications for the spot look good on paper: He’s a light-hitting speedster with a deceptively high career batting average that distracts from the fact that he’s never walked more than 32 times in a season and has virtually no power. The Nats sent homegrown Drew Storen to the Blue Jays in <a href="http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2016/01/nationals-blue-jays-to-swap-drew-storen-ben-revere.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the trade</a>—maybe it worked out okay, so long as the lone criteria is whether Storen has been any better than Revere this season. He has not. They have both been awful. </p> <div class="js_ad-mobile-dynamic js_ad-dynamic"> <div class="ad-unit ad-mobile js_ad-unit js_ad-mobile hide-contents"> <div class="ad-mobile-inner"> <p class="ad-label proxima"><small class="proxima">Advertisement</small></p> <div id="ad-container-45415558" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="MOBILE_IN_POST" data-paragraph-position="bottom"></div> <p class="ad-label-bottom"></p> </div> </div> </div> <p>It’s worth pointing out, here, that conventional wisdom about the role of the leadoff man in an ideal lineup has been <a href="http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2009/3/17/795946/optimizing-your-lineup-by" target="_blank" rel="noopener">slowly eroding</a> for years, now. One of the most specific lessons of the first iteration of <em>Moneyball</em> was the overvaluing of base-running speed as a necessary quality of a leadoff hitter, the position in the lineup where on-base percentage is <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/are-league-wide-batting-orders-more-optimized/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">most important</a>. That the Nats targeted and grabbed up Ben Revere, whose history of production suits him much better to the conventional wisdom-version of a leadoff man, perhaps says uncomfortable things about the organization’s interest in these newfangled analytics. All of Morgan, Span, Revere, Taylor, and other somewhat-recent leadoff placeholders such as Roger Bernadina, for example <em>look </em>the part, in terms both basic (they are all fast and underpowered) and jarringly specific—(they all played center field). It’s almost enough to make you wonder whether Trea Turner wound up in center not out of necessity, but because he was batting leadoff.</p><p>Which brings us to this season. The Nats scored Turner in a <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dc-sports-bog/wp/2016/09/08/mike-rizzo-happily-recounts-the-nats-creative-trade-for-trea-turner/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">one-sided deal</a> in which they fleeced the Padres for a can’t-miss infielder and a promising young starting pitcher (Joe Ross). Turner was immediately the heir apparent to lame-duck shortstop Ian Desmond, and spent spring training this year lighting up every pitcher in sight. But then Revere went to shit, and Michael Taylor was no better, and plans changed in a hurry. Revere hasn’t been a regular in the lineup <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/nationals-journal/wp/2016/08/30/ben-revere-isnt-bitter-about-losing-his-starting-spot/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">since mid-August</a>, and he hasn’t had a plate appearance in these playoffs. </p><p> So now their placeholder shortstop is having a historically bad playoff series, and they have neither the outfielders nor the infielders to make the obvious switch. For all the success Mike Rizzo has had building this Nationals roster, filling out a strong farm system, and keeping the organization relatively stable through a few years of turnover at the skipper level, he’s been unable to lock up any kind of stability in center field, and the position has become a revolving door. And this is the latest consequence: With their season on the line, their best shortstop will be in center field, their worst batter will be at shortstop, and the bottom of their lineup will be a gaping sore. And we will be stuck watching poor, hopeless Danny Espinosa repeatedly corkscrew himself into the ground in an elimination game. Joy of joys.</p><div class="js_related-module related-module"><div class="module-header js_related-header-region"><h4>Recommended Stories</h4></div><div class="js_related-posts-region"><div class="wrapper"><div class="items"><div class="item"><a href="http://deadspin.com/root-for-the-nationals-in-the-playoffs-1787517981" class="link js_link" data-ga="[Permalink page click, Related post click, Position 1 of 3]"><span class="image__wrapper lazy-image"><span class="img--16x9"><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--8gJWvafr--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ymjof7clnrpkzzih6rwy.jpg" media="--small"><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--8gJWvafr--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ymjof7clnrpkzzih6rwy.jpg" media="--medium"><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--8gJWvafr--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ymjof7clnrpkzzih6rwy.jpg"><img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--8gJWvafr--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ymjof7clnrpkzzih6rwy.jpg" class="featured-image lazyload" data-sizes="auto"></picture></span></span><div class="headline--wrapper"><h5 class="headline">Root For The Nationals In The Playoffs</h5></div></a></div><div class="item"><a href="http://deadspin.com/lets-appreciate-danny-espinosas-big-beautiful-mustache-1688884288" class="link js_link" data-ga="[Permalink page click, Related post click, Position 2 of 3]"><span class="image__wrapper lazy-image"><span class="img--16x9"><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--5dm6juG2--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ujrbaafmubsp3nnakerp.jpg" media="--small"><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--5dm6juG2--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ujrbaafmubsp3nnakerp.jpg" media="--medium"><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--5dm6juG2--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ujrbaafmubsp3nnakerp.jpg"><img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--5dm6juG2--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/ujrbaafmubsp3nnakerp.jpg" class="featured-image lazyload" data-sizes="auto"></picture></span></span><div class="headline--wrapper"><h5 class="headline">Let's Appreciate Danny Espinosa's Big, Beautiful Mustache</h5></div></a></div><div class="item"><a href="http://deadspin.com/danny-espinosa-has-zero-hits-in-the-nlds-but-has-been-h-1787640862" class="link js_link" data-ga="[Permalink page click, Related post click, Position 3 of 3]"><span class="image__wrapper lazy-image"><span class="img--16x9"><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_mM5GL-p--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/e6kymycuhhage9aj6vrm.jpg" media="--small"><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_mM5GL-p--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/e6kymycuhhage9aj6vrm.jpg" media="--medium"><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_mM5GL-p--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/e6kymycuhhage9aj6vrm.jpg"><img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--_mM5GL-p--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_264,q_80,w_470/e6kymycuhhage9aj6vrm.jpg" class="featured-image lazyload" data-sizes="auto"></picture></span></span><div class="headline--wrapper"><h5 class="headline">Danny Espinosa Has Zero Hits In The NLDS, But Has Been Hit By Pitch Three Times </h5></div></a></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="post__misc"></div><div class="js_qamodule-settings"></div><div class="post-bottom"><div class="post-bottom__inner"><a name="replies"></a><div class="post-tools-wrapper left" data-forpost="1787706769"><div class="reply-to-post__container"><svg class="svg-icon svg-reply-right"><use xlink:href="#iconset-reply-right"/></svg><a id="js_reply-to-post" href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" class="reply-to-post hover-icon proxima js_reply-to-post text-small readonly-hide" rel="nofollow" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Group Chats', 'click', 'Reply button click');">Reply</a><span id="js_reply-count" class="reply-count proxima text-small">77</span> replies</div><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769#" class="reply-to-post--mobile js_reply-to-post readonly-hide" rel="nofollow" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Group Chats', 'click', 'Reply button click');">Leave a reply</a></div><div class="post-tools-wrapper right" data-forpost="1787706769"><div class="fb-like" data-href="http://deadspin.com/the-nationals-are-stuck-with-danny-espinosa-tonight-un-1787706769" data-ref="post_bottom_fb_like_button" data-layout="button_count" data-width="100" data-show-faces="false"></div></div></div></div></article></div></section><section id="js_discussion-region" class="discussion-region dui"><div class="center reply-spinner"><span class="spinner bounce"><span class="one"></span><span class="two"></span><span class="three"></span></span></div></section> <div id="analytics-permalink-view" style="display: none;" data-analytics-api-root-url="//kinja.com/api/analytics/" data-post-id="1787706769" data-blog-id="11" data-author-id="5735415141433439515" data-tags="washingtonnationals,dannyespinosa,mlbplayoffs,mlb,baseball"></div></div></section><section class="sidebar"><div class="sidebar__content sidebar-container dui js_sidebar-actual-container"><div class="sidebar-content js_sidebar-container js_sidebar"><div class="js_newsletter-btn--subscribe js_dismissable js_subscribe-region-sidebar"></div><div class="sidebar-module trending-module js_leftrailmodule js_leftrailmodule--trending"><header><h2><strong>You</strong> may also like</h2></header><div class="trending-reel js_trending-reel clearfix"><div class="index-wrapper"><div class="index-img-wrap reel__item js_reel__item active"><div class="reel__thumb"><a class="js_reel_thumb" href="http://deadspin.com/colin-kaepernicks-contract-just-went-from-bad-to-worse-1787746979" data-ga="[Trending module click, position 1, js_pageType]"><span class="trending-image-wrapper"><span class="featured-image img--16x9" style="background-image: url('https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--v4utFzSP--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/zbcovsx6bklwkljusy5j.jpg')" role="img" aria-label="Colin Kaepernick&#39;s Contract Just Went From Bad To Worse" alt="Colin Kaepernick&#39;s Contract Just Went From Bad To Worse"></span></span><span class="index-img-num"></span></a></div></div><div class="index-img-wrap reel__item js_reel__item "><div class="reel__thumb"><a class="js_reel_thumb" href="http://deadspin.com/hell-yes-tim-tebows-teammates-should-be-trying-to-make-1787658245" data-ga="[Trending module click, position 2, js_pageType]"><span class="trending-image-wrapper"><span class="featured-image img--16x9" style="background-image: url('https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--xFUgrDnx--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/yxbpmfj0ezmbwn0slhvl.jpg')" role="img" aria-label="Hell Yes Tim Tebow&#39;s Teammates Should Be Trying To Make Money Off Him [Update]" alt="Hell Yes Tim Tebow&#39;s Teammates Should Be Trying To Make Money Off Him [Update]"></span></span><span class="index-img-num"></span></a></div></div><div class="index-img-wrap reel__item js_reel__item "><div class="reel__thumb"><a class="js_reel_thumb" href="http://deadspin.com/santiago-casilla-wept-after-the-giants-collapsed-withou-1787698949" data-ga="[Trending module click, position 3, js_pageType]"><span class="trending-image-wrapper"><span class="featured-image img--16x9" style="background-image: url('https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--WuCjV5pE--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/zoauwrd2puftnqf1mdc7.jpg')" role="img" aria-label="Santiago Casilla Wept After The Giants Collapsed Without Him" alt="Santiago Casilla Wept After The Giants Collapsed Without Him"></span></span><span class="index-img-num"></span></a></div></div></div><div class="trending-progress js_trending-progress clearfix"><div class="trending-progress__segment js_trending-progress__segment"><div class="segment__fill"></div></div><div class="trending-progress__segment js_trending-progress__segment"><div class="segment__fill"></div></div><div class="trending-progress__segment js_trending-progress__segment"><div class="segment__fill"></div></div></div><div class="reel-wrap"><div class="reel js_reel"><a class="reel__feature sidebar-item js_reel__feature active" href="http://deadspin.com/colin-kaepernicks-contract-just-went-from-bad-to-worse-1787746979" data-ga="[Trending module click, position main, js_pageType]"><span class="trending-image-wrapper"><span class="featured-image img--16x9" style="background-image: url('https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--0EGVsGzw--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_180,q_80,w_320/zbcovsx6bklwkljusy5j.jpg')" role="img" aria-label="Colin Kaepernick&#39;s Contract Just Went From Bad To Worse" alt="Colin Kaepernick&#39;s Contract Just Went From Bad To Worse"></span></span><div class="trending-description-wrapper"><div class="reel__feature-description sidebar-meta__wrapper" style="background-color:#ffffff;min-height:93px"><div class="meta meta--source js_trending-source"><strong>Deadspin</strong></div><span class="headline__wrapper"><h4 class="headline js_headline">Colin Kaepernick's Contract Just Went From Bad To Worse</h4></span><div class="meta meta--time js_meta"><time>Today 10:38am</time></div></div></div></a><a class="reel__feature sidebar-item js_reel__feature" href="http://deadspin.com/hell-yes-tim-tebows-teammates-should-be-trying-to-make-1787658245" data-ga="[Trending module click, position main, js_pageType]"><span class="trending-image-wrapper"><span class="featured-image img--16x9" style="background-image: url('https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--GFZw0Hz3--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_180,q_80,w_320/yxbpmfj0ezmbwn0slhvl.jpg')" role="img" aria-label="Hell Yes Tim Tebow&#39;s Teammates Should Be Trying To Make Money Off Him [Update]" alt="Hell Yes Tim Tebow&#39;s Teammates Should Be Trying To Make Money Off Him [Update]"></span></span><div class="trending-description-wrapper"><div class="reel__feature-description sidebar-meta__wrapper" style="background-color:#ffffff;min-height:93px"><div class="meta meta--source js_trending-source"><strong>Deadspin</strong></div><span class="headline__wrapper"><h4 class="headline js_headline">Hell Yes Tim Tebow's Teammates Should Be Trying To Make Money Off Him [Update]</h4></span><div class="meta meta--time js_meta"><time>Tuesday 11:21am</time></div></div></div></a><a class="reel__feature sidebar-item js_reel__feature" href="http://deadspin.com/santiago-casilla-wept-after-the-giants-collapsed-withou-1787698949" data-ga="[Trending module click, position main, js_pageType]"><span class="trending-image-wrapper"><span class="featured-image img--16x9" style="background-image: url('https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--xjbXu5V4--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_180,q_80,w_320/zoauwrd2puftnqf1mdc7.jpg')" role="img" aria-label="Santiago Casilla Wept After The Giants Collapsed Without Him" alt="Santiago Casilla Wept After The Giants Collapsed Without Him"></span></span><div class="trending-description-wrapper"><div class="reel__feature-description sidebar-meta__wrapper" style="background-color:#ffffff;min-height:93px"><div class="meta meta--source js_trending-source"><strong>Deadspin</strong></div><span class="headline__wrapper"><h4 class="headline js_headline">Santiago Casilla Wept After The Giants Collapsed Without Him</h4></span><div class="meta meta--time js_meta"><time>Yesterday 9:30am</time></div></div></div></a></div></div></div></div><div id="taboola-promotion-sidebar-abp"></div><div id="js_leftrailmodule--preloadedad" class="sidebar-module js_contained-ad-container contained-ad-container js_leftrailmodule invisible"><div class="contained-ad-shaft js_contained-ad-shaft"><div class="contained-ad-wrapper js_contained-ad-wrapper notransform"><div class="ad-pad"></div><div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-left-rail js_ad-left-rail"><div id="ad-container-40608576" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="LEFT_RAIL"></div></div><div class="ad-pad"></div></div></div></div><div class="sidebar-module js_leftrailmodule leftrailmodule--popular invisible"><header><h2><strong>Recent</strong> from <a href="http://kinja.com/miserableshitehawk">Chris Thompson</a></h2></header><div class="sidebar-item recommended"><a href="http://adequateman.deadspin.com/lets-use-science-to-make-some-paneer-the-most-versatil-1787262297" data-ga="[Popular stories click, position 1, js_pageType]"><span class="thumbnail-wrapper"><span class="img--16x9"><span class="data-overlay"><ul><li>5<svg class="svg-icon svg-star"><use xlink:href="#iconset-star"/></svg></li><li>22<svg class="svg-icon svg-bubble"><use xlink:href="#iconset-bubble"/></svg></li><li>10.8K<svg class="svg-icon svg-flame"><use xlink:href="#iconset-flame"/></svg></li></ul></span><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--iIgseVDw--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,q_80,w_320/josbmfyszlrdfam89h2p.png"><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" class="lazyload ls-lazy-sidebar-tag" data-sizes="auto" alt="Let&#39;s Use Science To Make Some Paneer, The Most Versatile Cheese Of All" aria-label="Let&#39;s Use Science To Make Some Paneer, The Most Versatile Cheese Of All"></picture></span></span><div class="meta meta--source"><strong>Adequate Man</strong> · Chris Thompson</div><span class="headline__wrapper"><h4 class="headline">Let's Use Science To Make Some Paneer, The Most Versatile Cheese Of All</h4></span><div class="meta meta--time"><time>Sunday 2:26pm</time></div></a></div><div class="sidebar-item recommended"><a href="http://deadspin.com/spare-your-eyeballs-todays-guide-to-ignoring-the-nfl-1787583320" data-ga="[Popular stories click, position 2, js_pageType]"><span class="thumbnail-wrapper"><span class="img--16x9"><span class="data-overlay"><ul><li>3<svg class="svg-icon svg-star"><use xlink:href="#iconset-star"/></svg></li><li>39<svg class="svg-icon svg-bubble"><use xlink:href="#iconset-bubble"/></svg></li><li>14K<svg class="svg-icon svg-flame"><use xlink:href="#iconset-flame"/></svg></li></ul></span><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--DShWHf1y--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,q_80,w_320/iwkv0r2usrebhm0qenrp.jpg"><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" class="lazyload ls-lazy-sidebar-tag" data-sizes="auto" alt="Spare Your Eyeballs: Today&#39;s Guide To Ignoring The NFL" aria-label="Spare Your Eyeballs: Today&#39;s Guide To Ignoring The NFL"></picture></span></span><div class="meta meta--source"><strong>Deadspin</strong> · Chris Thompson</div><span class="headline__wrapper"><h4 class="headline">Spare Your Eyeballs: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL</h4></span><div class="meta meta--time"><time>Sunday 11:02am</time></div></a></div><div class="sidebar-item recommended"><a href="http://deadspin.com/the-already-enormous-body-count-todays-guide-to-ignori-1787325791" data-ga="[Popular stories click, position 3, js_pageType]"><span class="thumbnail-wrapper"><span class="img--16x9"><span class="data-overlay"><ul><li>5<svg class="svg-icon svg-star"><use xlink:href="#iconset-star"/></svg></li><li>37<svg class="svg-icon svg-bubble"><use xlink:href="#iconset-bubble"/></svg></li><li>20.7K<svg class="svg-icon svg-flame"><use xlink:href="#iconset-flame"/></svg></li></ul></span><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--mAfF5AJT--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,q_80,w_320/doz45kulhhjt90n5btaa.jpg"><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" class="lazyload ls-lazy-sidebar-tag" data-sizes="auto" alt="The Already-Enormous Body Count: Today&#39;s Guide To Ignoring The NFL" aria-label="The Already-Enormous Body Count: Today&#39;s Guide To Ignoring The NFL"></picture></span></span><div class="meta meta--source"><strong>Deadspin</strong> · Chris Thompson</div><span class="headline__wrapper"><h4 class="headline">The Already-Enormous Body Count: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL</h4></span><div class="meta meta--time"><time>10/02/16 11:21am</time></div></a></div><div class="leftrailmodule--promotion js_leftrailmodule--promotion js_ad-promotion ad-promotions-container row"><div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-promotion-sidebar js_ad-promotion-sidebar"><div id="ad-container-96316519" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="PROMOTION_SIDEBAR" data-pp-position="sidebar"></div></div></div><div class="sidebar-item sidebar-item__commerce" data-id="1787766039"><a href="http://deals.kinja.com/get-started-with-with-philips-hue-smart-lighting-for-ju-1787766039" data-ga="[Commerce module click, , js_pageType]"><span class="img--16x9 commerce-badged"><picture><source data-srcset="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--mXqKsjeA--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,q_80,w_320/tjwtufnax4b8iscoiyze.jpg"><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" class="lazyload ls-lazy-sidebar-tag" data-sizes="auto" alt="Get Started With With Philips Hue Smart Lighting For Just $100" aria-label="Get Started With With Philips Hue Smart Lighting For Just $100"></picture></span><div class="meta meta--source"><strong>Deals</strong> · Shep McAllister</div><h4 class="headline">Get Started With With Philips Hue Smart Lighting For Just $100</h4><div class="meta"><time>Just now</time></div></a></div></div></div></div></section></div><div class="basement js_basement"><div class="ad-wide ad-bottom show-for-large-up" id="ad-970x250-container"></div></div><div data-analytics-target="sharingBottom" id="sharingfooter" class="js_sharingfooter sharingfooter noskimlinks noskimwords"><div class="sharingfooter__wrapper"><div class="sharingfooter__content"><a class="sharingfooter__facebook js_share-post-item facebook icon--svg" rel="nofollow" href="https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=POST_URL" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sharing Bar', 'click', 'Share to Facebook click');"><span class="button--round button--facebook"><svg class="svg-icon svg-icon--filled svg-facebook"><use xlink:href="#iconset-facebook"/></svg><span class="button__label">Share</span></span></a><a class="sharingfooter__twitter js_share-post-item twitter icon--svg" rel="nofollow" href="https://twitter.com/share?text=POST_TITLE&url=POST_URL" onclick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Sharing Bar', 'click', 'Share to Twitter click');"><span class="button--round button--twitter"><svg class="svg-icon svg-icon--filled svg-twitter"><use xlink:href="#iconset-twitter"/></svg><span class="button__label">Tweet</span></span></a></div></div></div><div id="matchbuy-placeholder"></div> <div class="reveal-modal-bg"></div><div id="modalplaceholder"></div><div class="kinja-logo-divider"><hr></div><footer class="site-footer js_site-footer noskimlinks noskimwords"><div class="footer__items"><div class="footer__inner"><div id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails"></div></div></div><hr class="show-for-medium-down divider"><div class="footer__nav"><div class="js_newsletter-btn--subscribe js_subscribe-region-footer newsletter-btn--subscribe newsletter-btn--subscribe__nodismiss"></div><ul class="list list--site list--site__baseline"><li><a href="http://deadspin.com/about" data-ga="[Footer, click, about]">About Blog</a></li><li><a href="http://help.gawker.com/" target="_blank" data-ga="[Footer, click, Help]">Need Help?</a></li><li><a href="http://legal.kinja.com/content-guidelines-90185358" data-ga="[Footer, click, Content Guidelines]">Content Guide</a></li></ul><ul class="list text-light list--legal"><li><a href="http://advertising.gawker.com/about/index.php#contact" data-ga="[Footer, click, Permissions]">Permissions</a></li><li><a href="http://legal.kinja.com/privacy-policy-1750920278" data-ga="[Footer, click, Privacy]">Privacy</a></li><li><a href="http://legal.kinja.com/kinja-terms-of-use-90161644" data-ga="[Footer, click, Terms]">Terms of Use</a></li><li><a href="http://advertising.gawker.com/" data-ga="[Footer, click, Advertising]">Advertising</a></li><li><a href="http://gizmodo.com/careers" data-ga="[Footer, click, Jobs]">Jobs</a></li><li><a href="http://feeds.gawker.com/deadspin/full" data-ga="[Footer, click, RSS]">RSS</a></li></ul><ul class="list text-light list--copyright"><li>©2016 Gizmodo Media Group</li></ul></div></footer><noscript><img src="http://b.scorecardresearch.com/p?c1=2&c2=6770184&cv=2.0&cj=1"></noscript><div id="js_placeholder--duimodal"></div><div id="splashy-ad-container-bottom" class="splashy-ad-container no-overflow" style="display: none;"><div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-splashy-bottom js_ad-splashy-bottom"><div id="ad-container-12513362" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="SPLASHYBOTTOM"></div></div></div><div class="ad-unit js_ad-unit ad-welcome js_ad-welcome"><div id="ad-container-73538273" class="ad-container js_ad-container" data-zone-type="WELCOME"></div></div><div style="display:none;" id="read-only-warning"><div class="row"><div class="column small-12">Kinja is in read-only mode. We are working to restore service.</div></div></div><div id="js_svg-definitions" class="hide"><svg id="svggroup--commerce" class="hide"><symbol id="iconset-deals-box" viewbox="0 0 39 28"><path d="M4.067 4.996l15.462 5.34-.268-.733-3.735 5.954.613-.21L.69 9.877l.26.734 3.724-5.82-.607.207zm.343-.942a.52.52 0 0 0-.607.206L.078 10.08a.495.495 0 0 0 .26.735l15.452 5.473a.52.52 0 0 0 .613-.21l3.736-5.953a.495.495 0 0 0-.27-.733L4.41 4.054z"/><path d="M4.668 12.47v8.588a.5.5 0 0 0 .298.454l14.216 6.385c.136.06.293.06.43 0l14.215-6.385a.5.5 0 0 0 .298-.454v-8.59H33.1v8.59l.297-.454-14.215 6.384h.43L5.395 20.604l.298.454v-8.59H4.668z"/><path d="M34.554 4.054L19.092 9.392a.495.495 0 0 0-.267.733l3.736 5.954a.52.52 0 0 0 .615.207l15.452-5.473a.495.495 0 0 0 .26-.735L35.16 4.26a.52.52 0 0 0-.606-.206zm.343.942l-.607-.207 3.725 5.82.26-.736-15.452 5.473.613.21L19.7 9.602l-.265.732 15.462-5.34z"/><path d="M4.46 5L19.53.983l-.265.002 15.267 3.88.26-.968L19.525.017a.526.526 0 0 0-.265 0L4.19 4.038 4.46 5zm15.016 5.69v15.186c0 .276.23.5.513.5a.507.507 0 0 0 .51-.5V10.69c0-.276-.23-.5-.512-.5a.507.507 0 0 0-.514.5z"/></symbol></svg><svg id="svggroup--crucial" class="hide"><symbol id="iconset-lightning" viewbox="0 0 18 18"><path d="M11.85.488c.168-.544-.004-.653-.39-.228L4.12 8.32c-.19.207-.15.5.097.644l3.816 2.2c.045.027.07.088.054.137L6.15 17.514c-.168.544.004.653.39.228l7.34-8.06c.19-.206.15-.5-.097-.643l-3.816-2.2c-.045-.027-.07-.088-.054-.137L11.85.487z" fill-rule="evenodd"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-star--giant" viewbox="0 0 24 24"><path d="M12 17.8l-7.053 4.908 2.488-8.225-6.848-5.19 8.592-.176L12 1l2.82 8.117 8.593.175-6.848 5.19 2.488 8.226z"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-search" viewbox="0 0 15 15"><path d="M9.5 8C11.433 8 13 6.433 13 4.5S11.433 1 9.5 1 6 2.567 6 4.5 7.567 8 9.5 8zm-3.233-.975c.196-.195.518-.19.708 0 .195.195.19.517 0 .708l-4.95 4.95c-.195.194-.517.19-.707 0-.195-.196-.19-.518 0-.708l4.95-4.95zM9.5 9C7.015 9 5 6.985 5 4.5S7.015 0 9.5 0 14 2.015 14 4.5 11.985 9 9.5 9z"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-circlePlay" viewbox="0 0 38 40"><path d="M10 30.262c0 1.514 1.17 2.196 2.45 1.408l16.602-10.2c1.26-.775 1.267-2.164 0-2.943l-16.6-10.2C11.177 7.545 10 8.225 10 9.735v20.527z" stroke="#fff" fill="none"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-flame--giant" viewbox="0 0 24 24"><path d="M9.004 10.954c.353.496.89.497 1.02.112.262-4.217 2.854-8.093 3.743-8.98C14.872.984 16.177.01 16.577.77c.103.194-.065.63-.235 1.187-.378 1.242-.583 3.198 1.046 5.18 1.532 1.86 3.112 4.166 3.112 7.58 0 4.597-4.052 8.783-8.5 8.783s-8.5-4.186-8.5-8.782c0-3.652 2.056-7.844 4.21-9.773l.28-.243c.33-.285 1.143-.212 1.014.234-1.186 4.096 0 6.018 0 6.018z"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-bubble--giant" viewbox="0 0 24 24"><path d="M6.094 18.506C3.324 16.678 1.5 13.7 1.5 10.32 1.5 4.9 6.2.5 12 .5s10.5 4.398 10.5 9.82c0 5.425-4.702 9.823-10.5 9.823-.694 0-1.37-.067-2.025-.187-.45.68-3.432 3.123-4.432 3.45-1 .326-1.15-.235-.713-1.024.438-.788 1.264-2.802 1.264-3.876z"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-facebook" viewbox="0 0 18 18"><path d="M7.003 17l-.006-7H4l.006-3h2.997V4.995C7.003 2.408 8.457 1 10.808 1c1.126 0 1.91.082 2.192.12v2.877h-1.447c-1.278 0-1.526.597-1.526 1.472V7h2.866l-.403 3h-2.47l.007 7H7.003z"/></symbol><symbol id="iconset-twitter" viewbox="0 0 18 18"><path d="M12.077 2c-1.812 0-3.282 1.582-3.282 3.534 0 .277.03.547.085.806-2.728-.148-5.147-1.555-6.766-3.693-.283.522-.445 1.13-.445 1.777 0 1.226.58 2.308 1.46 2.942-.54-.02-1.05-.178-1.49-.443v.045c0 1.712 1.13 3.14 2.63 3.465-.28.08-.57.124-.87.124-.21 0-.418-.022-.62-.063.418 1.404 1.63 2.426 3.067 2.455-1.125.94-2.54 1.51-4.078 1.51-.267 0-.528-.02-.785-.05 1.46 1 3.185 1.59 5.04 1.59 6.037 0 9.34-5.39 9.34-10.06 0-.153-.005-.306-.01-.457.64-.5 1.197-1.12 1.637-1.83-.59.28-1.22.47-1.885.557.677-.437 1.198-1.13 1.443-1.955-.633.405-1.336.7-2.084.858C13.88 2.43 13.028 2 12.08 2"/></symbol></svg></div><div id="trackers" style="display: none;"></div><noscript><img src="http://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/activity;dc_iu=/4246/DFP_Audience_Pixel;dc_seg=22540930;blog=deadspin;ord=1?" width="1" height="1" border="0"></noscript></body></html> |